A Word From the Husband- Fatherhood

I was planning on using some fancy quote here that could sum up the meaning of Fatherhood. Honestly though, I doubt there is such a quote that could really accomplish that accurately. I will, however, do my best to describe to you how I feel being a father. 

When I first held Charlie in my arms, I thought to myself, “There’s no way this little thing is mine.” I couldn’t stop smiling. This little bundle of joy was finally in this world, breathing the air I’m breathing, hearing the sounds I’m hearing. I knew as soon as I saw her, that I would do anything to protect her from the harms of this world. I swore to myself, sealed by the tears that fell from my eyes (I will never admit to that if you ask me) that I will love and cherish her like God loves and cherishes his people.

I’m sure Leah can tell this more accurately, but when we brought her home, I really thought I was going to be able to play with this little thing like I played with all my other siblings. I was ready to have imaginary tea parties with her, and slay imaginary dragons, her being the princess of course. But that’s kind of hard to do with a newborn sack of potatoes. That thought hit me when I realized that all she’s going to do for the next forever is eat, sleep, poop, and cry in that order.

So here I am, not quite knowing what to do with this thing, next to an amazing woman who seems to know everything there is to know about being a parent. I was at a loss. All I could do was hold her when she cried; just feeling frustration because I didn’t know why she was crying and all I wanted to do was fix whatever was causing her to cry. Already I was feeling incompetent as a father. I look back now and realize just how ridiculous that was, but I guess its part of growing and learning.

A good friend of ours told us once that he read something somewhere, probably Reddit knowing him, that every time a baby cries, it’s probably because whatever they just experienced was for the first time. With that experience being the first time, it was probably the most terrifying thing they’ve ever known, being the first time and all. Totally makes sense though if you think about it. Everything that we experience as adults for the first time can be terrifying, granted we don’t scream and cry (well most of us don’t).

So with that explained to me, and my wife being patient and understanding, I feel I’m finally at a place where I can handle her crying without feeling like I need to fix something. You all probably think I’m stupid, getting so worked up by my baby’s crying, but unless you have a child of your own, you’ve got not a clue. 

Now we’re at about ten months, and every day is a new adventure with her. She loves to play with all her toys now, like she actually has an opinion on things. I feel like my place as a father is becoming more defined. I feel like I have a purpose, to help instruct and guide my family as I’m commanded. The more I watch her, the more I’m sure that being a father is probably the coolest thing. Way cooler then jumping out of helicopters, or shooting bazookas, or sword fighting ninjas, and most especially having a beard. 

These times are definitely challenging with her, and I pray that God can give me the patience and the strength that I need to be the best father that I can be. I realize that nothing I can write can really describe how I’m feeling, and everything I did write did no justice to the title of Father. So I’ll just stop trying to describe, knowing that I successfully took at least five minutes of your life that you will never get back. Mission accomplished. 