Pictures of our First Apartment

Here are the pictures I promised you a couple weeks ago. We are very blessed with the space this apartment offers, but even more so with the Land Lord that cares for the property. We have pretty much everything we need. It would be nice to get a desk at some point, but that is down the road. For now we have a very functional table and plenty of everything else we could need. I still have to finish hanging up pictures, but otherwise we are unpacked. Enjoy!

This is the door and then to the left is the eating area.

   This will eventually be our little office space when we get a desk. 

                                                         This is our family room

We have a beautiful window that lets in the most wonderful light!

                     You can see kitchen to the left and then the hallway to our room and bathroom.

Here is a good picture of the kitchen and eating area from our living room.

The picture on the wall was a wedding gift from my Grammy, and the cross is a gift from a wonderful woman at church. I love them so much!

A better picture of the eating area.

Our kitchen. 

Our counter space. And in the corner is my bread maker. I can't wait to use that!

Our fridge, and you can kind of see the floor. The floor looks even uglier in person but it's okay, I really don't mind. 

The hallway and a peek at our bedroom.

Our bathroom

This is our bed! I love the comforter which was another gift from my Grammy!

Here you can see the window and a nice large closet! 

We love our home. It has been so much fun setting up and making it our own place. Alex and I learned a lot more about each other through the process. Funny how the simplest things can bring so much out in a person.

Well there you have it. 

We can't wait to start having people over. 

Playing House

                  These last few days have brought fond childhood memories to mind as Alex and I have adjusted to our newlywed homemaking life together. How strange it is to be in a home that is entirely our own. I look around at the boxes still half unpacked and the piles of random clothes waiting for a place to call their own and it feels like those long days I used to play house. The kitchen is my favorite place- that is where I make meals for my husband as was my favorite part of playing house. I dreamed all my childhood of the day when I would be a wife with a husband to care for and a home to manage, but now that the day has come I stand here feeling not a day older than those blissful days of games and  pretend.

                It is funny how we look forward to and dream of something through our childhood and we have a fantasy of what it will feel like, look like, sound like, but when the day comes and those dreams take a very literal form it often times feels like, looks like and sounds like something entirely different-not necessarily in a bad way, just different and often times disappointing. It is amazing that when my focus is on the things of this world-those momentary material moments that fade away as quickly as they came-I stand to be disappointed, still feeling empty having not fulfilled the fantasy's of my heart in the depth I had imagined it to be. On the flip side, I am discovering as I often do, that the moments and desires I seek out in Christ through my walk with Him, the more blessed and fulfilled I actually am. It is a rare occurrence to have a childhood fantasy fulfilled to the depths of our hearts when our focus is on living to the fullest for ourselves. Life isn't necessarily about living to fulfill our dreams. Scripture is so clear that as believers in Christ Jesus, we are actually laying down our lives-sacrificing our dreams for the sake of Christ's Will for our lives which is clearly drawn out in the Word as living as disciples for the sake of the Gospel, to give, to love and to serve. I am finding that when I am not living for Christ as I am called to as a believer, I end up feeling more like I am playing house- living a fake artificial reality with no substance-but when I put aside my dreams of fulfilling my own desires I discover a deep and overwhelming fulfillment, encouragement and blessing in abundance. The less I expect the more I discover.


          The last few days my focus has been so much on making our home everything I imagined it to be instead of focusing on what God has given us, and the beauty in having a husband to love and care for and a home that we can call our own. Regardless of what it looks like or feels like if I can focus on where God has us today and what I can do as wife for my husband as God would desire I would find and have found such a deep fulfillment and blessings beyond imagination.

Our Wedding

  I have longed to write everyday for the last week, but to no avail. I have so much to say, so many stories I could tell. But it really all evolves around one thing-I am officially married to Mr. Alexander Jaffrey. We had a beautiful wedding in Bar Harbor Maine with a ceremony over looking the ocean and a simple but beautiful reception at Alex's parents in Maine. The ceremony and reception exceeded far beyond any expectations or dreams I had for our special day. It was small, simple and uniquely our own wedding. Saturday greeted us with grey skies, predicating a rainy forecast for the entire day, specifically for the  morning and late afternoon leading up to and extending through the evening, got for the entire extent of our ceremony and reception which was suppose to be outside. With fingers crossed and many prayers the rain held after a short sprinkle in the morning. It was grey and over cast until the very event of our ceremony when the sun broke through and shined around us as a halo of warmth and light. Durning the ceremony while fighting back tears of joy Alex and I committed our lives to each other before God and the witnesses around us, both those we knew in addition to the many curious onlookers. As soon as the vows were spoken and the rings given, the sun was whisked away behind a curtain of heavy laden clouds where we then hurried through pictures so we could get under the tent for the reception. 

I can still see his eyes as we met hand in hand before the alter. The depth of love and joy was unparalleled to anything I had ever seen or felt before. It was just Alex and I before God, blind to the world around us, standing in all glory and earnest joy while heaven's symphony surrounded us on every side. 

The reception that followed was equal in beauty and simplicity. We were surrounded by people who loved us and gave without reservation. Our Maid of Honor and Best Man were the very best that anyone could have ever asked for! Friends and family came together to celebrate and cook, clean, and set up. Angela took our pictures and Pastor Steve married us. Alex and I were blessed in more ways than we can yet count. After the wedding we spent the next two nights in down town Bar Harbor in a little motel room. It was quiet and more lovely than anything we could have asked for! 

We are back home now and back at work today beginning our life as a married couple. Already we have been put in a situation where we had needs and already God has provided more than we needed! We have food, a home and we are working on getting set up and started in school!

Thank you for your prayers and your well wishes! God has certainly heard your prayers and blessed Alex and I exceedingly!

 I have posted a few pictures, but we will have more in a few weeks, so keep your eye out for them. 

                 

What Should We Reflect

                     As our wedding day approaches I have found myself thinking often of our life as a married couple. What kind of life style should we be reflecting according to the word of God, as a believing couple compared to the reflection of most couples of the world? Where should our hearts and motives and dreams be set on? What kind of moral standards should we cling to and uphold at all cost? Some of the answers are obvious but I often catch myself and even Alex asking the question, "how much is enough to give, and uphold?" It is so easy to give as little as possible and only give what is convent in the means of time, money and energy, but how serious and how important is it to walk according to the image Christ set? What should our daily lives look like? I am realizing first hand that one of the most important things we will need to remember is that our life is not and should not be about us in a secluded individual sense, although it is vital that we give and care for each other according to the God ordained standards He set over us. But that as a couple we reflect the heart of Christ-being selfless, looking for and caring without grievance for needy and putting our heart and energy into the body of Christ- our family of believers.

                I have no questions regarding the fact that we are asked to give all of ourselves, but what will that look like for us? What will God ask us to give? Where will God lead us? There are passions that we share as a couple and passions that we have individually will God lead us according to those passions? What kind of a model will we set? How often will we get caught up in our own life and miss all of the incredible that God gives us to minister? As a wife and hopefully a mother someday, what kind of woman should I be and strive after, what should it look like in my life? What kind of people will we be giving our lives and time too? What will be my weaknesses and my strengths.

               In preparation of our life together a sea of questions, thoughts, and ideas billow around my head. There are so many possibilities and we have so much to learn and discover together and individually. It is kind of overwhelming somedays and yet invigorating filling my heart with awe and fear. I am continuing to have an enhanced understanding of what it means to fear the Lord in awe and reverence of His infinite power, wisdom and knowledge. He is endless and  His power is without comparison. The older I get and the more I learn the smaller and more insignificant I feel, the more I realize the necessity of dying to ourselves, because without God we really are nothing in comparison.

            I cannot wait to see where God leads us through the years. I want to learn, grow and mature in Christ Jesus and I want our lives to reflect Him in every area. I want to give selflessly and with reckless abandonment. Where ever we may go, whatever we may do, even if we must loose everything in the process. Pain and heartache is not always a bad thing, it refines us and produces strength and faith that can often only be discovered through trials.

       

A Week From Today and Thoughts

                We are now officially one week away from our wedding. In just a few days we will be fully moved into our apartment and on the road to Bar Harbor Maine with our two close friends. I feel so blessed, and as the day gets closer I find myself getting more excited about our marriage, if that is even possible. For a while I was afraid to believe we were really getting married and that it was actually happening, but now that we are so close it feels like reality. I can relax, all the plans are made, everything is in motion and we are moving forward.

                The idea of being a wife is such a strange concept still. I am so afraid that I won't be a good and godly wife, that I will fail to be what God intends a wife to be for her husband and family. Alex is such an incredible leader and provider, I sometimes catch myself wondering if I will ever be able to who God wants me to be for him. I know it will be a learning process, and I take heart in the fact that God has surrounded me with many wonderful godly women; such as my own Mother, my Aunts and Grandmothers, and several wonderful woman in my church. I will have no lack of godly insight and counsel! Praise God for our elders and the mature godly people in our lives! What would we do without them?

             Through the last few months I have really grown to appreciate the counsel of elders in my church. When I was younger as most others, I believed I had all the answers, but God has been faithful in teaching me otherwise. I have learned so much from woman and men that I respect and honor in our body of believers. I have been given insight into situations I would have never learned within my own understanding and insight. I now meet with a wonderful woman from my church family and I treasure those minutes that we share weekly. She is such an inspiration and challenges me in ways I wouldn't have expected. Her heart and life is such a testament of the power of Jesus she has wisdom in particular situations that I wouldn't have ordinarily expected. God has used her wisdom and insight powerfully in my spiritual walk with Jesus.

            ....wow that was a  tangent. In any case I am so excited about the wedding. Alex and I continue to discover beautiful things about each other and I can't wait to walk this road with him as his wife, even if it takes a while for me to learn to be a good wife.

Moving Day!

          Today is a sort of a milestone for Alex and I. Today we officially get the keys to our apartment and with the help of Thing 1 (My Alex's friend) will begin the process of moving in and setting up our new home. So excited! Pictures coming soon!!

Pictures From the Beginning Through Today

Where We Stand

            We are now just a few days away from our wedding and next weekend we get the keys to our new apartment in Newark, New York. So much has transpired through the last month, I really don't know where to begin. We are now getting married in Bar Harbor, Maine, and we have signed a year lease for our apartment which means that we will be in New York for a while longer. It is hard to say where God may lead us after this year. At this point I am planning on getting an associates degree online in Early Childhood Education, and Alex is planning on doing his first year at least online as soon as we can afford to start. But there is no saying where we will be after this year. Two months ago we honestly did not believed that we would be in the position in which we are today.

                My last post left us wondering how and why God had allowed Alex's knee injury. We believed that God was in it and that there was some kind of blessing involved, but we were not prepared at the time for what shortly followed due to the situation. Long story short, five weeks before the wedding my parents felt it necessary to indefinitely post-pone our wedding. They had their reasons, and they honestly believed that they were asking and requiring something that they believed was necessary due to the situation. I know it wasn't easy for them to force that on us, but as my parents they believed they were doing what was right and best for us. Before I go on, I want to make a point to say that I admire and respect my parents and I believe that they need to stand on what they believe. I can only hope that when Alex and I are parents that we will have the strength to stand for what we believe regardless of how other people see the situation. But with that being said, Alex and I did not agree with what they were requiring of us. After weeks of prayer and earnest seeking, we were convinced and convicted that we could not willingly submit under the situation.

                 That conclusion resulted in one of the most painful and crucial decisions Alex and I have ever made and had to stand on. A part of me was relieved that we had made the decision to still get married on our date, but on the flip side now I would walk fatherless down the aisle knowing the pain and heartache I caused my family. Growing up as a little girl I always had a vision of what my wedding would look like, what it would feel like, what it would sound like, the joy of friends and family in our ears filling our hearts with the melody of heavenly rejoicing. Now I simply pray that it be free of animosity and heartache. Through this situation God has challenged me to come away from the worlds expectations of us, my expectations of my ideal dream, and focus instead on Him and the beauty of Alex and I standing before a Holy and perfect God, giving ourselves to each other and to Him for the term of our short lives here. We will be going before Him as we are; imperfect, simple, joyfully surrendering all we are to the benefit of the other, coming individually to be bound in the heavenly glory of matrimony. 

It has been far from an easy decision but I have yet to feel a peace which compares to this. I don’t know where God is leading us, I don’t know why He allows certain situations and circumstances in our lives, but I am convinced that He has purpose in everything. The trails and heartaches that we feel and experience today are so small in comparison to the suffering of Jesus and the later Apostles, these small trials only draw us closer to Him and awaken a deeper understanding of His heart. He takes us out of our comfort zone and forces us to trust Him and rely on Him alone. 

This personally has been one of the most difficult struggles for me because I thrive and have grown up seeking believing that I needed the approval of the world, of my family and friends. The very moment when I am aware of someone disagreeing with something I’m doing or saying I immediately shutdown, question, reevaluate the situation and most often give in to the desires or beliefs of the people I trust and respect.  However I dread most the disapproval of my family; my parents and grandparents the most. Maybe that is part of why God is allowing this and convicting my heart over something that my family very strongly disagrees with. I have been forced to choose what I believe in; choosing Alex and God and things on my heart over what my family desires so much for me. He has asked me to trust Him through this even though I am not sure what He is doing with this situation. It is obvious to me though that He has been in this. Every detail of the wedding, living situation, work and the healing of Alex’s knee has almost effortlessly worked itself out. He has been providing in every area of our lives, bringing people in our lives who love us and support us, encouraging us as we stumbled and struggle through this. 

You know, we may be misunderstanding God’s leading in this, but something else I’ve learned through this is that I cannot be scared to make a mistake anymore. All my life I have been obsessed with meeting perfection in my life style in my heart and walk with Christ. Anyone  who knows me is quiet aware that I am very far from perfection, and if they know me well they will see that side of me that stops at nothing to be perfect. But God is not requiring perfection, He just wants us to surrender everything we are to Him, to die to ourselves and seek after Him in all things. I am going to make mistakes, and I think due to what I’ve been through this last month, I am reaching a point in my life where I have the courage to step outside of my comfort zone and trust God to lead me and not stand still because I am afraid of falling short. I am a human and I’m going to make mistakes, but let me make my mistakes while I believe I’m doing what is right and trust that God will pick me up and dust me off when I fall. 

Some of you, if not most of you, may not agree with Alex’s and my decision to get married without my Fathers blessing, but in any case, we are doing what we believe is right, and if it is wrong then I trust that God will show us someday and we will repent if that becomes the case, but today we are walking forth in faith believing in the power and love of God.  In twelve days we are going to stand before God and give ourselves away to each other and we will go in joy and peace and we will entrust our life to God whatever may await us down the road. He will be there leading us all the way. 

Please pray for us and our families as we all work through this situation. 

Sending love and prayers to all!

Love,

Leah