I was sitting in church the other day, where a powerful and challenging thought was expressed. A question was posed wherein I had never before considered or contemplated in any fashion. Without rephrasing word for word the question was to the extent of: 'Should not the church be the very treasure house of art and expression? We who understand creation and the very essence of our creator more intimately, stand able to express the beauty and depth of nature and emotions unlike the empty and shallow perception of the world?' David sang with exuberance the praises of the Lord. To this day his poetry is recorded and persevered throughout time. I look around at the modern day church in our everyday American society (which does not exclude myself in anyway) and I wonder where the dancing and praising comes into play that is expressed so often in Scripture. People danced in the streets, and shouted with joy and praised proclaiming to everyone around them without shame what the Lord did for them.
People described in the New Testament churches could not contain their joy, they wanted the whole world to see the beauty of what Jesus did in their lives. I read about churches today in other countries who are under inhuman amounts of persecution who can not contain their joy and singing; often being persecuted and horribly mistreated due to their unmasked joy. Yet we sit quietly in our comfortable chairs in our comfortable congregations one day out of our comfortable week, hearing over and over again what Christ our Lord has done for us while we smile politely to one another and contemplate how it applies to us. Why are we not moved to tears when we think about what Christ has done for us? Why are we not moved enough to sing and cry out with joy to our brothers and sisters, let alone to the people in our lives who are not saved. How can any person desire the joy and freedom we have in Christ without being convinced and transfixed by the outward expression of His work in our lives?
Personally, I believe that part of our problem (including myself), is the fact that perhaps the reality of what Christ has done in our lives has not yet been fully understood in our own hearts. I am guilty of being one of the self-righteous christians raised from birth who has had an incredibly difficult time understanding how much I need Christ. I want Him and I love Him, but I think it is fairly obvious that as real as Christ is to me I do not full comprehend all that He has done for me. Until I not only believe that I deserve death, but I fully comprehend that on a real life standpoint that I do indeed deserve to DIE, I am not sure that I can fully understand how wonderful and beautiful Christ is to me.
I believe if we all fully comprehended what Christ has done in our lives and the depth of the majesty and glory of God, we wouldn't be able to contain ourselves. Imagine for a moment if you were an artist the intense drive and passion that would come out in your art if you could fully embrace and understand the Majesty of God. If you were a singer, what would your song contain? As the very bride of Christ, should not the churches expression of God's beauty and Glory far more extravagantly out stand the expressions of lust and self promoting love?
I have been unable to stop thinking about my understanding of God. I am only just now realizing how shallow my perception of His love, glory and majesty manifest in my heart. Young woman faint and cannot bring themselves to a point of control when they have a chance to meet the latest pop star singer. Yet when I have the opportunity day after day to come into the very presence of God; King and Lord of all the earth and heavens, I casually go over my list of needs and wants. I plead and implore and then go back to my newest TV show and wait for Him to answer my every desire. My heart is a deceitful and self-promotiong fool. I really don't have the slightest understanding of who God is. I don't fully understand the gift of Christ. I fail to understand that I should die, and suffer for all of eternity.
I don't want to live like this. I want to embrace the depth of God. I want to stand humbled and in awe. I want to be in a constant state of amazement in recognition of sacrifice Christ made on our behalf. I want to be moved to tears and singing when I hear the name of my saviour. I want to be passionately moved to express and declare the living majesty of the King of Kings. I crave that my walk with Christ day to day declares boldly the joy and freedom I experience to the world.
I am a half a hearted believer. But I desperately pray that God opens my heart and my eyes to Him.
