When God Stretches

Most of you know that the last few months haven't been easy for us. The pregnancy with little Eve has been wrought with uncertainty, sickness and unusual circumstances from day one. Throughout this past month in particular, we have been stretched and tested in ways that we couldn't have ever imagined. While incredulous at times, these circumstances that have invaded our lives are not without the presence and leadership of God; sometimes we just have to be reminded that God is bigger than anything we could face. 

If you are up for a little story, I have one to share that has taught me so much about the grace and courage of that comes from God. 

Once upon a time, we were told and had accepted the fact that we could never have another baby. Nevertheless we were surprised on Christmas eve with one of the most precious gifts we have ever received. It was the night that God stopped us in our tracks and humbled us in ways we couldn't have imagined. There is nothing like having God visit you and tell you that He had chosen you to do the impossible; that despite everything we had believed, God was making it possible. We were going to be parents again. 

While little Eve is growing and thriving with ease inside the protection of my womb, most days it appears that the world is literally trying to take me down- physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Beginning with infection after infection, doctor appointments every week for early onset contractions, to then having an allergic reaction to one of the only medicines that could possibly help hold off preterm labor. (By-the-way, the percentage of women to have any kind of reaction to this medication are %0.2) Since then we have faced flu after flu only to find out that somehow I managed to get a tick on me which resulted in a bulls-eye rash which was immediately diagnosed as Lyme disease. After a few weeks, it was apparent that something else was going on, so after seeing a few specialists, I was diagnosed with a strange fungus which had taken over the lower part of my torso. We are still not sure if I have Lyme in addition to the fungus or if the bulls-eye rash was never truly from the tick. So a blood test was ordered and within the next few weeks I should have the results and hopefully some peace of mind over that issue. 

The story doesn't end there however. After almost a year seizure free, my seizures and panic attacks suddenly started to come back in floods, causing even more contractions and often times debilitating pain. Then, about a day following the diagnosis for the fungus, I was outside letting the little one play in the grass and suddenly felt a pin-prick in my right leg. The grass was so tall I couldn't see what was on me, so I flung my foot quickly and the mysterious culprit scurried off. Later on while inspecting the bite I was horrified to see two fang marks in my leg which were already bruised and red. It must have been a large spider to leave a mark like that. I didn't really think anything more of it until a few days passed and I noticed a huge sore had appeared on my leg accompanied by pain. Thinking it might be infected I called my doctor and was advised to put heat compresses on it every hour until I could be seen by a professional. So for the next two days I put heat on it and gross green/yellow fluids started streaming down my leg....seriously it was abhorrent beyond description. I was advised to have it looked at by the ED that weekend, only I suddenly had symptoms pointing to the onset of true preterm labor. I was instead rushed to the Labor and Delivery where I was monitored and evaluated for the next few hours. Still not entirely sure what was going on, we were all relieved to see that whether in labor or not the baby was doing well and did not appear to be coming into this big world yet. So we were sent home with instructions to rest and drink plenty of fluids...and to go to the ED or Urgent care to have my leg looked at (which continued to look worse).  

Bright and early the following morning, with a coffee in hand and hope for relief I finally went into the ED to get my leg evaluated. What I didn't expect was the diagnoses that I had toxic poison eating my leg away in addition to a sweltering infection. Unbeknownst to me at the time, those heat compresses literally saved my leg by drawing out the poison that could have had dire effects on my body.  The doctors I've been seeing for the bite, are fairly convinced that it was either caused by a Brown Recluse, or Yellow Sac Spider...Seriously, what are the odds? 

I am now 27 weeks pregnant and physically struggling to function day to day. It has seemed at times that the world is totally against me, that there is some unseen force struggling to take me and my unborn baby down any way possible. At first everything was so overwhelming and it started to drain me more spiritually than it was physically. I felt like I was facing every kind of storm I could face at the same time, with no clear direction or hope, but today I feel more alive and at peace than I have in quiet a while. No matter what I face or what surprises us, God is showing me that when I come to Him for strength and courage, that nothing can separate me from His love and comfort. A spider that could have killed me was not too much for God to handle. He has been holding me and this baby through every storm and while I can't know what else I might face in the next coming weeks/months I do know that I have a God that is greater than anything waiting for me. 

I am exhausted and relying on family and friends to help me through the remainder of this pregnancy, but I am amazed by the grace of a God that heals, protects and speaks to little me. I am no one special. I am just an ordinary young mom and wife, but God can still use and speak to me, regardless of what I am going through!  

I am praising God that I am still carrying this baby for another day, I am surrounded by friends and family and a church that is pouring into me and helping my family through this season, I have been blessed with extraordinary relationships and ministry opportunities, a husband that is providing through God's grace, our 18 month old who fills our lives with insurmountable joy and love, and an opportunity to serve even though I'm mostly restricted to my bed. 

God may be stretching me, but He is drawing me near to Him too. He has shown me more grace and courage than I've ever experienced before. 

Minimalist Us - One Year Later

Almost a year ago, we had a moment as a family when we realized something had to change. We prayed, sought direction through scripture and counsel, and made a choice. Our lives have changed so much in this past year. Our home is becoming more clutter-free and less time consuming to maintain, our spending has been transformed, but more than all of this, our hearts and family dynamic have been the most dramatically changed. We knew we needed to make a change a year ago, and we knew that the process would be slow and continual, but we did not realize how deeply it would touch every area of our lives, both prominent and obscure.  Though the application has been difficult, and the journey has filled with good and bad days, we wouldn't change it for anything. 

We set out to free our hearts from the trap of worldly materialistic living. We wanted to get rid of idols, distractions, and temptations that were pulling our minds and hearts away from Christ. We wanted to change the way we thought and lived. We wanted our lives to reflect the presence of a Savior instead of a self-pleaser. We wanted God to be the center and deliberate thought in everything we decided as a family- in finances, food, and entertainment. We started making little changes, getting rid of little things, making little decisions about money, choosing to spend our time differently, eat differently and here we are today living a radically different life.

As we have moved and unpacked, we have donated more than we kept. Neither of us realized how much we saved and kept over the years that was nothing more than empty clutter. We have changed the way we thought about needs versus wants and found great joy in owning less, needing less, and wanting less. Our eating habits have changed completely, through simplifying, and going more natural. The need to be entertained diminishes everyday as we discover new ways to bond and relax as a family.

*We actually sold our Wii console, got rid of our Netflix subscription, and Alex sold his computer (games included) and haven't regretted a day of it.

While there is nothing wrong in owning things and finding joy in entertainment, we have discovered along this road that putting things like this away from us (even if just temporary) has actually forced us to be more honest with ourselves, each other, and focused on Jesus. We love our life with our family and hope to keep walking down this road together finding more ways to live more simply and focused on God, family, church and community.

The way we spend our money, and more importantly the way we think about our money has completely transformed. There is a part of us that wishes we could fly back in time and kick our younger selves in the butts when it came to the way we use to fritter away the resources God gave us. Our money is no longer our money, it's a tool that God gave us to live and serve the church with. It isn't about what we can afford or what we can do, it's about making sure that we use whatever we do have in the most effective way we can to live and serve God to the fullest. Unfortunately, this has probably proved to be one of the most frustrating areas we have had to work on...we have made so many mistakes, but God is gracious and merciful to us in-spite of our short comings. He is ever patient and invested in teaching us to be more like Him.

One of the biggest moments for us in this whole process was probably putting together our baby registry for little Evelyn (since we have to essentially start over). Our idea of needs versus wants and the contentment we have found in the small list was a huge testament as to how much our hearts have truly changed throughout this whole process. We have absolutely no desire to own things we don't need. If we can live comfortably without it, then we don't want it. We would rather invest our money, time and hearts into things that matter, such as: the body of Christ, date nights, teaching and raising our kids to be head over heels in-love with this incredible God we serve. We want our lives, home, and decision to reflect a family invested on becoming as Christ like as we can be and our hearts more and more consumed in Christ instead of this world.


This journey is not a one year project; its going to be a life time investment, intentional in attitude and lifestyle. It is a journey in which we will both rise and fall, but through it all continue to walk and pursue God with fervent hearts and faces pointed heavenward praying for God's leadership. If there is one thing that is true in this last year, it is that, without God; His direction and leadership, our efforts and practice would have left us as empty and hopeless as the day we began this road together. Nothing we have accomplished thus far, would have been possible apart from the work God has done in our hearts and continues to do as we go.

Our first year anniversary on this road is just a glimpse into the beautiful life God has in store for our constantly growing family.




With an Earnest Love,

Leah