I do not quiet remember where I left off last, other than sharing that we had moved out of the live-in home where I had been nannying. We had moved into my parents home, where they graciously welcomed us and gave us a place to stay while we got back on our feet. Our goal was for me to find a new job and to save up enough for a security deposit for a new apartment, however after a few weeks it became apparent to both of us that our aspirations would not be easily attained. We discovered that we were going to have a baby a week before we left my job. We did not share our news with many people due to the fact that we had miscarried twice before. Holding our breathe we waded through the next few weeks hoping that we wouldn't run into complications. We had a couple scares early on, but after seeing my doctor early on and having our first ultrasound where we saw our little babies heartbeat for the first time, we breathed a sigh of relief. At the time we had a healthy developing fetus and I was doing okay. The first major problem that we encountered in attempt to achieve our goal was the fact that I seemed entirely unable to get a job. Being pregnant made it difficult to find any family who was willing to work with me as a nanny. I even began seriously looking and pursuing jobs outside of nannying and childcare. But not one company even graced me with an opportunity to interview.
After a long month of waiting for call backs and searching anxiously for a job, I finally got a call from a father looking for some help with his two sons. I had a start date within the week, however due to unfortunate circumstances for the family the dates continued to be pushed back further and further and it began to look as though I may not have job after all. The weekend I was first supposed to start I had our first major baby scare. I was put of bed rest for several days whereafter things started looking better for our baby and I. I began walking around a little bit again and attempting to get moving hoping that everything would continue well for the baby and slowly but surely I started feeling more like myself. Alex and I really began to worry about the possibility of me being put on bed rest for a decent part of the pregnancy, and became concerned with how we would make it if I couldn't work so we began praying over it and giving our fears to God. The following week my fears came to pass when my job fell through and the father of the two boys no longer needed my employment. Frustrated I began applying in a frenzy to anyone that would accept an application. Four days passed when my doctors discovered bleeding in my uterus due to my placenta implanting into a blood vessel (a rare phenomenon). Concerned for the baby and my own health I was put back on bed rest until further notice with the potential of continuing through the whole pregnancy.
I have to say; trusting God is hard. You do everything you know to do to make things work: you pray, you work hard but sometimes it takes a little more than what you can do. Alex and I were struggling to understand that God has His own plans even when things just seem to get worse and worse. When we found out that I could potentially be on bed rest and unable to work through the whole pregnancy panic welled up inside of us, almost to the point where neither of us felt like we were able to breathe or function. In our heads and hearts we knew God had a plan but at that point we just couldn't see how it would work out.
Alex began apply for a second job anywhere he could, but he ran into the same problems I was running into. No one would call back for an interview. There were times where he was even verbally promised an interview and the company just never called to officially set one up. It is hard when you know that God is bigger and has the power to give and take away, and He is just doesn't seem to do anything to help the situation. After three weeks of stressful worrying an option became available however neither one of us were prepared for what was being proposed. Alex was offered a job in Bar Harbor Maine. It would pay the bills while we lived on his parents farm helping as a coachman and stable hand. There were many opportunities for a second job if he found he had the time and was guaranteed a position should he take it as a catering hand for a hotel owner in town. As much as we hated to admit it, it sounded like it could work. We started praying seriously about the proposition, mean while Alex gave it another shot with finding a second job in New York. After several days of not hearing anything back from anyone, we made the decision to move to Maine. We had two week to get up there where Alex would start his new job.
My parents graciously helped us with packing and moving our things which had been in storage and they agreed to help us move the little we had up to Maine. It really wouldn't and didn't take much to move but telling our friends we were moving was the most difficult and heartbreaking thing either of us had to do. It was amazing how over the next few days thing just effortlessly fell into place. We had a peace in our hearts and truly believed that God was going to take care of us.
A week passed and I was suddenly told that I needed to go to the ER after experiencing multiple fainting episodes. We spent the day in the hospital to receive good and bad news. The good news was that the bleeding had stopped in my uterus and the baby was safe! I could go off of bed rest after a month. However, I was having problems with my fluctuating blood pressure and heart rate which was causing the abnormal fainting and dizziness so I still would not be able to work and my driving privileges were revoked for the entirety of the pregnancy. I was also warned that as the pregnancy progresses that my symptoms could become more pronounced and exaggerated. Relieved that the baby was okay, we took a deep breath and continued preparing for the move.
Over the last week we said our good-byes and tried to see our friends as much as we could before the big day. We hadn't realized how many friends we had or how many people had effected our lives and encouraged us through the last few years, months, or weeks. So many more people had touched us in someway than either of us had begun to comprehend, in the same way we hadn't realized how many lives we had touched in some way. God works in amazing ways. He uses people we would have never expected and circumstances we could have never planned to speak something incredible into our hearts and minds. I will never regret a moment of any of the friends and acquaintances we have acquired along the way. Saying good-bye has never been so hard for me. Though we were moving near family and knew of people in their church, it couldn't compare to the relationships we had developed in New York.
Friday came and we packed up the car, Alex worked his last shift at Starbucks and we set out on the road for the evening. Eleven hours later we pulled into the drive way of our new home. A little RV greeted us with little orange lights lit by the little door to show us the way. There was something strangely charming about the little trailer by the light of the stars outside. It was our home for now. A place we could call home. A space for our own, to get us through the next several months until the baby comes. At 2:45 in the morning a bed never looked so inviting. We slept until we woke to the sounds of clucking chicken in the morning.
We have been in Maine now since the 8th of July. It is beautiful here. Alex loves his new job and is pursing a second job at the time. We are mostly unpacked and loving having our own space again. There is so much to explore and adjust to here. Living on a farm is a completely new experience for me but I am loving it! There are horses, lambs, chickens, bunnies, dogs, cats and a lot of bugs every where. The sun sets are beautiful and the ocean is literally right down the Crooked Rd. Within the next month we hope to be able to pay all our bills again and work on paying off hospital bills. The baby is growing more everyday and so is my belly (slightly more than expected at this point). Tomorrow morning I have my first appointment with my new midwife and I am hoping to hear that things are going well so far.
God has been so good to us even we can't understand where He is leading us or why. He has been taking care of us and I know He will continue to. So we are going to take a deep breath, work hard, pray often and trust where He is leading us. I promise to write soon and share some of our adventures so far, but as for tonight I can hardly keep my eyes open a minute longer. So until next time.
Alex and I miss all of you!!!
15 Weeks Pregnant!
Love,
Leah
