What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into?

                     You would think that after seven months of consistently not expecting what God would do in our lives that we would learn to not expect anything in particular. In fact giving room and a large allowance for the unexpected. But God knows that we don't learn things very easily, so it goes to prove once again that indeed God allows, leads and intervenes in our lives in ways which we would never prepare for. Our most recent venture stands on terms no less unanticipated. The only difference is that this endeavor so far persists ever more onerous; seemingly impossible at moments.

                    Upon moving in with this new family as the live in nanny with my funny lovable husband the question has repeated itself more times than either of us care to admit: "What on earth have we gotten ourselves into?"

                   I have been faced with a multitude of shocking situations, disheartening realities, and frustrating circumstances over and over again. This home is beyond disorganized and in desperate need of a relationship with Christ. The circumstances and needs of this home are so far above and beyond anything I expected or feel that I have to give. There is no doubt in either of our minds that this family is in desperate need of an intervention and an example of a God honoring Christ centered relationship. With a single small bed room and bathroom of our own, we have otherwise been placed in a whirlwind  of emotions and expectations. We were not expecting to become like parents and missionaries to this family. Apparently God had a different idea in mind- I should have known.

              Over the first two weeks we tried so hard to convince ourselves that this couldn't possibly be where God wanted us, but circumstances proved to differ. God intentionally made certain that we wouldn't be able to find a way out of this. He made it near impossible to question where He wanted us. So having accepted that we are supposed to be here, we are now trying our hardest to find contentment in our living situation.

             The job itself has been one of the most exhausting jobs I have ever worked. The hours over the first week ended up being anywhere from 6:30 in the morning until 8:30 that night every day. With three dogs, four cats, other small animals, and a large house to clean, in addition to the two kids I watched, the days ended up being very long and stressful.  After two weeks of this crazy schedule and work load, I built up the courage to meet with and discuss the situation with my boss. Until that morning, the reality of my insecurity in talking over disagreements and challenging another person became painfully evident to me. I have never been so terrified to talk to someone before. I was so afraid of what she would say or do when I brought up some of the uncomfortable situations.  However, being convinced that God would desire an honest and mature attempt at communication instead of allowing bitterness and discontent to build up in my heart, I submitted to Him.  The conversation ended up going over very well, and since last weekend things have been going much smoother in relation to the work hours and the work load.

              Though the days aren't quiet so long, I am still amazed at the need of God's presence in this house hold. This will not be an easy couple of years. We need prayer, patience and a lot of wisdom. God willing we will touch these beautiful kids and this Mother and maybe learn a thing or two from them. We are going to be full time missionaries here and we pray that God continues to lead us.  I think it is painfully obvious that we have no idea what we are doing. I am so thankful to my friends and family who have been encouraging both Alex and I through the last few weeks, and I have no doubt that we will continue to rely on the wisdom and insight others will bring into our simple understanding. Thank God we don't have to rely on our own experiences to work through this.

Here are a few picture of our new "very messy" room:

             Love to all,
Leah

             


         
           

                   

A Tribute to an Incredible Family

             For the last seven to eight months, I have worked with three incredible children and their parents. I have watched the twins go from crawling to standing to walking, and their sweet sister grow a year older all the more sweet and smart. I have watched this family grow, worked with them through some rough weeks, as they worked with me. I have nannied for several families, but this family will always have a special place in my heart. The thought of little Emma will always bring a smile to my face.  I have been so blessed to know and work with this family, I thank God for the moments both sad and happy and I'd never change a day I had with them. No words will ever suffice as an adaquate description of the love I have for this family.

             Today was my last day working for this beloved family. It was one of the most difficult last day's I have ever been through. I fought back tears all day as Chase's dimple smile flashed at me while sitting on my lap, and when Sophia giggled as I played tickle monster, and as Emma snuggled up next to me with to watch Cinderella. My heart broke in two as I walked out that door today. I am so happy that it is not goodbye forever, but I will still miss our lazy movie days, or moments baking in the kitchen, and playing with the babies on the floor. I am excited with where God is leading me and Alex, but I cannot keep the misery of our parting away.

            Thank you to the Clukey family for the incredible last months I have had to share with you. I will always love you and miss you. You have each taught me so much and I will never forget you!

With all my love,
Leah

God Has Opened Doors-Always Uncomfortably Certain

              Over the last few days we have panicked and worried over our jobs and housing situation. There were moments where we felt like things would never get better, and that God just didn't have a plan and didn't care about us. In the same month we lost our car and our apartment and we struggled with health issues. Just when things started to look up, our world would come crashing down all around us once again. Deep in my own heart, I know God has had a plan all the while, but in the moment when we didn't have the money, time, or means of provision, faith seems little more than a inadequate luxury.  It is hard to believe that God truly cares for you when one thing after another comes cascading down around your feet. Even though all of our needs were met, and we always had just enough to make it by (many times without understand how or where the money or means would come from), we still struggled shaking off the anxiotey and doubt we had in where God was leading us. We were so foolish.

            Last Saturday we spent the day packing the last of our things, moving and cleaning. We were have financial complications with one of our bank accounts which was in the negative at the time. This one only one of the many frustrations and concerns we had. We had no money, were in the process of being kicked out of our apartment, and had no idea where we were going to go. I had spent that whole morning praying and praying. Part of me was confident in what God was allowing, knowing that He must be leading us somewhere, but when I discovered our financial crisis that morning all hope and faith slowly began to crumble. I was excited to see where God was leading us and at the fact that we wouldn't be exposed to the mold any longer, but I was making myself sick worrying about how we would make it through the next few days. We had taken a break and I had gotten the last of our mail. The first few envelops contained bills and insurance notes, I found myself hyperventilating and praying that God would provide the money for gas and the bills I had just received. I opened the next envelop to find a $17.53 check from our insurance for mileage compensation the day of the accident. It wasn't much but I knew it would be enough to get us gas to get to work. I stared at the next envelop scared to open it afraid that it would contain another notice begging for money. As I opened it I felt my jaw drop. There in the envelop was a check for $77.00. I could feel tears rising in my eyes. Somehow we were over charged for car registration and they had mailed us this check as compensation. It couldn't have come at better time. With money to spare we were enabled to attain gas and deposit in our negative account. Alex and I were beyond thankful, there was no doubt in our mind that God was providing.

           The checks instilled peace and faith in our hearts and we were able to relax trusting that God was just going to continue to provide. From that point on we continued unloading and reloading my parents van smiling and teasing each other like old times. I dropped Alex off at work shortly thereafter and then went back to the apartment to clean. I wasn't in the apartment for more than five minutes when I got a message from a woman through my nannying company. It was from a single Mother living outside of Syracuse who wanted a live-in Nanny to take care of her home and two children. My heart literally skipped a beat. Could this possibly be God opening another door for us? Ordinarily I would have never ever considered a live-in position due to the fact that I was a married woman. Most people wouldn't even consider taking in a live-in married couple. I waited to respond giving thought and prayer to the possible situation as I finished cleaning. Later that evening before I sat down to dinner with my family, I responded offering my phone number and the opportunity to talk through the situations. Not 30 minutes later she called me. We ended up talking for an hour or so, and I walked away from the conversation with a date for an official interview and a connection with this mother.  I was torn with the possibility. On one hand I would be forced to leave the family I work for now which would break my heart to pieces, but it would put us in a position where we wouldn't have to worry about an apartment or utilities and have an opportunity to work full time. The next few days passed and we kept searching for apartments in the area without any responses.

                 Wednesday night came and we drove out to the interview hopeful and painfully skeptical, we weren't sure what to expect or if this would be any possible reality. We were desperate but not desperate enough to take just any apartment or  job that could potentially put us in an unnecessarily  stressful situation. We had made a pact with each other that we would not walk away having accepted the job without taking a day or two to think it over and pray about it but we were not prepared for the situation we were walking into. We drove up to a beautiful yellow home, with a pool and trampoline in the back yard, well maintained and fairly new. It was beautiful. We were greeted by a lovely woman and her three well-behaved dogs. As we were shown in, we met her two beautiful and darling children and her boyfriend. The men connected instantly while admiring each other's beards. For anyone who may not know, a beard speaks a lot about a man; it is man lingo for masculinity and respect. Alex says that the man with the better beard is always to be respected and looked up to.  We instantly fell in love with the family. Without realizing it five hours had passed and midnight was upon us like cinderella at the ball. We talked about everything under the moon, for Alex and I there was no question: God had been leading us here. We were hired on the spot and accepted.

               There are times where God simply makes Himself visibly clear. That evening it was like He was standing in front of us smiling, telling us that we were home. As we drove home we talked wondered at how God brought us to this point. Even the car accident was necessary for this job to work due to the miles Alex is going to be driving daily in order to live there. I would have never been able to take the job had we our apartment, or else-wise considered it unless we had been put in a desperate situation. God had to have been setting us up for this job for a while now. We are beyond excited to see   what He is going to do in this time we have with this incredible family. No doubt we will still be in a situation where we are forced to rely on Him: I am sure that living with another family will bring it's own struggles and trials, however I am confident in what He is doing.

              Tomorrow we will be officially moving in, and I will spend the next week working for both this new family and my current family. My last few days with my family here in the Clifton Springs area will be devastating and heart wrenching, but as sad as I am I am confident in God that He will provide another Nanny for this family and help me with the transition. I feel so foolish for ever doubting God's plan. Oh how faithless I can be, but so thankful that God forgives and draws me ever near.

           
'Oh, God, You know my foolishness;
And my sins are not hidden from You.' -Psalm 69:5-6

'I was so foolish and ignorant;
I was like a beast before you.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by the right hand.
You will guide me with counsel,
And afterwards receive me to glory
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none on earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For indeed, those who are far form You shall perish;
You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
But it is good for me to draw newer to God;
I have put my my trust in the Lord God,
That I may declare all Your works.' - Psalm 73:21-28 


Love to all,
Leah

Today-Our Situation

Hi everyone,

       

              So over the course of the weekend, we ended up being kicked out of our apartment after confronting our Land Lord about our mold issue. 

 

Unfortunately she wasn't very understanding, and we were forced to be entirely moved out by Sunday evening, even though we were bullied into paying for the month of April. So over the course of Friday afternoon and evening with the help of two close friends we managed to pack up the whole apartment. Saturday my Dad and brother brought over their twelve passenger van and loaded up our stuff and took it to a temporary storage solution generously provided by the Harbor church. In two days we somehow managed to pack, move, and entirely clean our apartment. We have been unable to find any appropriate housing situations so far, but we are hopeful in our search. Until we are able to get into another apartment or living situation, my parents have courteously taken us in and so we continue our search. 

Even though things haven't yet worked out completely we are both so relieved to be out of the situation and hope that within the next few days to see a big difference in our health. God has been providing every step of the way and opportunities are opening up and  we are excited to see what God may have in store for us. 

For the timing being, it has been strange being back in my parents house. After months of being on my own and married, it is the most foreign concept to be back living with my family. Part of me still feels like we are going to get my mom's 'evil eye' if we are caught kissing in the kitchen or told that we aren't allowed on the same floor at night when we start to go upstairs to bed for the night. Sleeping in my old room is like walking into a forbidden land. Memories of the year prior and the 'rules' coming flooding back. I feel so naughty waking up in the same bed as my husband in my old bed room. It is been a funny adjustment. In addition to my family, there is also a single mother and her three beautiful children staying in the home. It is a full house overflowing with noise of laughter, screaming, and running throughout. I forgot how noise a house full of children can be. It is strangely refreshing. 

I am so thankful that my parents have such a large house and can handle the chaos of so many families at once. It is going to be a fun couple of weeks as we figure out where we are going. 

I promise to let you all know how things work out and where God leads us. 

Love to all,

Leah