The Jaffrey Family Simplifying and Minimizing Project: Part 3 - Entertainment and Time Managment

     
     

If you didn't get a chance to read about how we are taking stride with our finances you can read about it here: Simplifying and Minimizing Part 2

        Hi Everyone,
           So this next step Alex and I have been praying over and working through has been how we invest our time, energy and where we place our values. Entertainment has been a huge focus of that. We both have realized, simply by looking at our budget how easy it is to spend not just our money but also our time and thoughts on mindless, fun, entertainment. The greatest thing we have had to come to terms with is that though there may be nothing wrong with entertainment in itself, it has a deep grip on our hearts; distracting us, consuming us, and stealing our passion and focus away from God.

It is so easy to allow 'things' to become idols in our lives. Movies, books, and games are fun, relaxing and at times even stress relieving. While this is not evil or bad, we allow it to become more than a movie every once in a while. Suddenly there seems to be a need to constantly be entertained. Games and movies are coveted and so easy to sit in front of when we have some down time. In the past we have spent money on games and movies and other sources of entertainment even when we didn't really have the allowance for it. It had our hearts and minds wrapped around its finger. This is when we realized how deceptive and toxic entertainment can be for the Christian heart and mind-particularly for us.

American life promotes spending money and time and thoughts on entertainment. Sometimes it almost seems like people live and work to entertain themselves. As disciples of Christ, I know that is not the focus that God wants us to have in our lives. Turning on the TV shouldn't be our first thought when we have a moment of quiet, nor should vegging out on the couch with a game after work be our instinctual response. Our lives as believers should be an example of passionate pursuit after Christ, the Holy Spirit leading us and helping us, a hungry and ever deepening desire to worship and bring His light to the lost world.

We've had to ask ourselves honestly:

1. What do we find ourselves thinking about throughout the day?
2. What do I look forward to doing when I have down time?
3. What am I investing in via time and finances the most, outside of work?
4.  When I am praying or studying the word do I find myself distracted by other thoughts? What are they?
5. What do I find most satisfying in my day to day life?

I know for myself personally, but also for Alex that we were a little taken aback by the reality of our answers to these questions. For myself, I put a lot of time and thought into Facebook, Pinterest, certain TV shows, and decorating. I look forward to relaxing with my husband on the couch at the end of the day with our TV show or a movie. I find myself thinking about my daughter, husband, dreams and mindlessly surfing through Facebook or Pinterest. I do love spending time with the Lord and in my bible but often times when I sit down to spend some quiet time with the Lord I am so tired, weary, and disoriented that I couldn't understand what I was reading and I wasn't connecting with Him on any level. He wasn't my first thought, and often days and weeks would go by without opening my bible once and not more than a few words of prayer here and there. My passion for the Lord was entirely lacking. My focus was not on Him. There was too much else going on in my day to day life to make Him my first and foremost thought.

After talking with Alex I've started taking steps to simplify my life. I have taken Facebook off my phone and as soon as our contract is up, we are getting rid of our smart phones and down grading to a simple text and talk phone to cut out the distractions of games and social media at the touch of the screen. Alex and I are going to be combining our Facebook profiles into one family one so that we can still keep in touch with our out of state friends and family, while controlling the time we spend on it. I only get on Pinterest after I have spent time with the Lord and my family. Alex and I are also getting rid of Netflix and we are not starting a new TV show series, we will be controlling about much we watch movies too.

Alex has had like struggles, with TV and gaming in particular. So together we are asking and praying that God would help simplify our thoughts and focus in our daily life.



Our lives could be so simple. Work, eat, sleep, and serve the Lord with all our hearts. Lately its been more like: Work, eat, watch TV, change diapers, play games, check Facebook for the 10th time, and then sleep a little. God is showing us how desperately we need to refocus.

I love the following passages because they speak so clearly of the simplicity of a life serving the Lord and the effect that has on the people around them.

"Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all as anyone had need. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people, and the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved." -Acts 2:44-47

"Now the multitude of  those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common...Nor was there anyone among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, and laid them at the apostles feet; and they distributed to each as anyone had need?" Acts 4:32,34-35

These passages predominately show the act of giving their own possessions for the church and instead living simply praising God. We want to has that same gladness and simplicity of heart. If things are going to take away from the relationship we can have with the Lord than I don't want any part of it!



What are areas in your life that you feel like you may want to refocus and simplify?

Our next step is to simply the way we eat and how we think about food and health. Keep an eye out for my next post!


Love,
Leah

The Jaffrey Family Simplifying and Minimizing Project: Part 2

           

        Last post I shared our vision and goal for our Simplifying and Minimizing Project, today I want to share a little bit on one of the main areas we are striving to make a change and how that is hopefully going to change the way we think and value things in our life. If you didn't get a chance to check out my last post, you can see it here: http://faithcanmovethemountain.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-jaffrey-family-simplifying-and.html

      What God is teaching us about Money:

        We live in America in a very entertainment driven society. The advertisements promoted everywhere via billboard, TV, internet and radio, self purposed individuals in our lives, and modern day living protagonists parade the idea and concept that we need things in our lives to be happy. Bigger is better, success is often evaluated biased off income, and the possession of things. There always seems to be more that the world is telling us we need: the latest in technology, bigger houses, better cars, new furniture, more movies, more games, the best in sport gear, the newest trend in the fashion industry, ect. It is so easy to get sucked into the concept that we need things to be happy, or even to survive. Alex and I have had to learn how to live on very little, but as soon as we start making a little more we often find that we still feel like we don't have money. We have found that subconsciously when our income increases so does our spending, often times on things we don't need and that don't have any substantial value. Why? How can we change that?

         We want the way we spend our money and deal with our finances to reflect the heart God and to have a simple purpose: survive and serve. Just because we may have money at some point in our lives does not mean that we should be out spending it on this and that, just to entertain ourselves and reward ourselves just because we could. Instead how can we best use the money God is giving us.

There are three main points that we have come to realize:

      1. God is our true provider, even though Alex works and brings money home God ultimately gives us what we need.  

     2. Any money we have is not our money-It is God’s. We need to ask at all times, “How would He have us use this?” 

    3. No matter how little or much we have financially we are responsible to budget and spend as wisely as we can. The money God provides us is not to blow on frivolous things that have no value or use, simply for the sake of entertaining ourselves. Even if we have a lot, we believe God would want us to  use what we need to take care of our family, but ultimately help His church and bring Glory to Him in every way that we can.

We've struggled with how to apply these to our daily lives and the tights simple budget we have right now. So we've come up with a list of 5 questions that have helped us so far and will hopefully continue to help us. 

     1. Do we need this?

     2. Will this help us? Our marriage? Our family? or the Church?

     3. Is there another more inexpensive, better quality or other option that would be wiser or meet our needs better?

     4. Will this help us save money, spend better in the long run or help us meet our financial goals?

     5. Would this purchase be dishonoring to God in anyway?

As we've prayed and thought over this we have taken a few steps to start spending wiser, and utilizing our purchases in addition to coming up with some saving goals and further purchases.  

One of the big changes we have made in the last month has been switching Charlotte over to clothe diapers. At first we were really hesitant about the change, worried that the mess would be really difficult to keep up with while sharing a laundry room with my parents, but we have been pleasantly surprised. I am rather in love with clothe diapering. By September we will be saving about $60 a month just from diapers. The mess is so easy to clean and Charlie seems to have less rashes with these versus regular. Plus they are super cute. :) 

Other ways we are saving is:

 1. Not having Cable, we spend about $7 a month for Netflix which has a large variety of shows and movies for the family. 

2. Shopping thrift stores for clothes as much as we can, especially on half off days.

3. Not renting movies very often and not going to the movies, rather waiting for them to come out, or going to the $5 bin at Walmart.

4. Making treats and a lot of food at home- eating out less and making things from scratch. (We are eating out of the house a little more than we want to right now, just as an excuse to get out and away from the family for a little bit, but even still we try to be very aware of how much we are spending.)

5. Allowing ourselves a small amount a month for dates and little treats for each other. This has made a huge difference because we know what we can spend, and we are not as tempted to splurge outside of our budget!

6. Making it a game to see who can find things to do as a family that doesn't cost anything or much at all.

7. We make a lot of Charlottes food from scratch too which helps.

  We are learning how to be creative and to make the most of what we have. The tricky part will be to continue doing that if and when we start making a little more money. So here is too simplifying our budget and trying to change the way we think about spending and the thing we think we need.

God Obviously Has it in His Hands

       So we are still at my parent house...and still not sure where God is leading us. The goals we have set and revised again and again are still just as far away as they were several months ago and so we sit and wait wondering what we are supposed to be doing. We've had an agenda that hasn't been met. Some of our realistic goals for us have been:

            1. To become more involved in our church and the body of Christ - This due to my seizures, our seven month old baby, and Alex's work schedule we are excited if we can make it to one service a week
           2. Working hard at work to work up in the company so we can be providing for our family and working towards a better future- While Alex is working very hard, he was knowingly, wrongfully accused for stealing therefor preventing any chance of moving up in the company or into a career with this job

        3. Make enough to be faithfully giving tithe, pay all our remaining debt off, and get into an apartment we can afford, and provide for all the needs of our family, like glasses, getting wisdom teeth removed and so on - With extra unanticipated expenses coming out of the blue (as it does with life) we are further behind than we where hoping we would be.

        4. Get our own apartment - Between not being quiet financially there yet, and not being able to find a decent place available in a safe and affordable home.

       5. Finding relief and healing from my seizures - While I went through a short break from having seizures, they have come back and pelage me almost daily and it seems that nothing we try works.


          Between all of this we struggle knowing that God has a plan and His own timing but also feeling lost and hopeless. We finally feel like we are getting on top of things and moving forward only to feel just as lost and confused only weeks later. I find myself praying, "What do you want Lord? We are trying with everything in us to do what is glorifying You and whats we need to do for our family, but everything continues to fall apart. We are failing at everything we set our hands and mind to! What more can we possibly do?" - and then the quiet stillness steals away my breathless cries, and in the peaceful warmth a silent whisper grips my heart, 'I have a bigger plan, and I will always have you in my hands. Trust me. Let Me lead you. Let me have your lives. Every area of it.'

         The reality has become that the harder we try, even when we think we are doing what God wants us to do, He ultimately has it in His hands. Whether we work our hearts out, God may still have another direction He wants to take us, and we have to be patient, willing, and allow faith to carry us through this. Everything comes with a season. Right now, we have to keep trying to do our best and trust God with the rest, even if is feels like in the moment everything is falling apart around us.

     The question is, can we find peace and hope even in continuos moments of uncertainty? Can we still live every moment of our lives out serving God with everything we have, even if it isn't where we want to be?  I think if we continue to pray and let the Holy Spirit lead us, we will find the deepest joy even in these times. I know that throughout the last several months, even though we've been fighting for an answer and direction, we've also drawn closer to God and each other and have found joy, peace, and hope in it. We just have to keep trusting.

       

Finally here are so pictures of major cuteness!




Love,
Leah