God Obviously Has it in His Hands

       So we are still at my parent house...and still not sure where God is leading us. The goals we have set and revised again and again are still just as far away as they were several months ago and so we sit and wait wondering what we are supposed to be doing. We've had an agenda that hasn't been met. Some of our realistic goals for us have been:

            1. To become more involved in our church and the body of Christ - This due to my seizures, our seven month old baby, and Alex's work schedule we are excited if we can make it to one service a week
           2. Working hard at work to work up in the company so we can be providing for our family and working towards a better future- While Alex is working very hard, he was knowingly, wrongfully accused for stealing therefor preventing any chance of moving up in the company or into a career with this job

        3. Make enough to be faithfully giving tithe, pay all our remaining debt off, and get into an apartment we can afford, and provide for all the needs of our family, like glasses, getting wisdom teeth removed and so on - With extra unanticipated expenses coming out of the blue (as it does with life) we are further behind than we where hoping we would be.

        4. Get our own apartment - Between not being quiet financially there yet, and not being able to find a decent place available in a safe and affordable home.

       5. Finding relief and healing from my seizures - While I went through a short break from having seizures, they have come back and pelage me almost daily and it seems that nothing we try works.


          Between all of this we struggle knowing that God has a plan and His own timing but also feeling lost and hopeless. We finally feel like we are getting on top of things and moving forward only to feel just as lost and confused only weeks later. I find myself praying, "What do you want Lord? We are trying with everything in us to do what is glorifying You and whats we need to do for our family, but everything continues to fall apart. We are failing at everything we set our hands and mind to! What more can we possibly do?" - and then the quiet stillness steals away my breathless cries, and in the peaceful warmth a silent whisper grips my heart, 'I have a bigger plan, and I will always have you in my hands. Trust me. Let Me lead you. Let me have your lives. Every area of it.'

         The reality has become that the harder we try, even when we think we are doing what God wants us to do, He ultimately has it in His hands. Whether we work our hearts out, God may still have another direction He wants to take us, and we have to be patient, willing, and allow faith to carry us through this. Everything comes with a season. Right now, we have to keep trying to do our best and trust God with the rest, even if is feels like in the moment everything is falling apart around us.

     The question is, can we find peace and hope even in continuos moments of uncertainty? Can we still live every moment of our lives out serving God with everything we have, even if it isn't where we want to be?  I think if we continue to pray and let the Holy Spirit lead us, we will find the deepest joy even in these times. I know that throughout the last several months, even though we've been fighting for an answer and direction, we've also drawn closer to God and each other and have found joy, peace, and hope in it. We just have to keep trusting.

       

Finally here are so pictures of major cuteness!




Love,
Leah