Another Season of Waiting-When Faith is Tested

           It is one thing to be 100% convinced that God is going to provide simply because He promises that He will. He tells us not to worry about what we are going to eat or where we are going to sleep, because even the sparrows are taken care of. It is an easy concept to grasp, until of course, your in a position without a job, watching your funds dwindle, not knowing how things are going to work out. It is easy to fall into the panic driven, control seeking mindset. We came to New York primarily because of my health issues, without a job, trusting that God would provide the perfect work opportunity for Alex. In our minds I think we expected to move home and that God would just drop the 'perfect' job into our laps and all our worries would be absolved. It is now two and a half weeks later we are still waiting... Now our faith is truly being tried. We know in our heart of hearts that God is going to provide something for us, but in our human control craving mindsets, we grow more anxious and stressed with everyday. There is a part of us that wants ask, "Lord, why can we not have an easy break? Just once? Today, is it too much to think that You could simply cause all things to fall together perfectly?"
          I so desperately want to believe that God has a perfect plan for our lives, but it is so hard to fully commit to heart when day after day passes by with questions unanswered, and no idea as to how things will work out in the end. On the other side of things, we have watched God provide time and time again and we know that somewhere along the way we are going to see God provide what we need. It comes down to this simple truth: we like to have our lives in control, and we don't like waiting. There is so much we want to do with our lives, and these cycles of waiting feels like our life, passions and dreams continue to be put on hold. We fall into the trap of being satisfied just surviving. There is a part of us that wants so much more out of our lives. We want to see God using our gifts in ministry, living out our passions, living deep and meaningful lives, not to be dwindling away our days waiting for things to start happening.
          Last night while sitting together praying that baby Charlotte (who is not feeling well) would finally fall asleep, we both came to a startling realization (something we both know but often forget), it doesn't matter what we do in life as long as we are doing what we can through these quiet days all for the glory and honor of God. Whether we are serving the people in our family, changing diapers, trying to put to use the gifts we have (even when we aren't seeing a profit), or working in a dream job, going across the world evangelizing, if we are doing it to the best of our ability for God then we are bringing honor and glory to God. We don't have to do anything special. We don't have to have it all in control or have all the kinks worked out. Point blank-God will provide.
        Whatever may come our way, we are anxiously waiting, and relearning to patiently trust God's timing and plan for our lives. Today we are learning how to use the time we are given and the things we have to honor God and live fully-in spite of our current situation. I am fairly certain that our faith and patience will constantly tested. I pray that God continues to teach us to let go of our drive to control our situation and circumstances, and that we learn to live everyday for Him wherever we are, whatever we are doing. Until then, we will continue to walk and learn and try (very, very hard) to trust God with the rest.

        Love,
        Leah