When Charlotte Came

         It is no secret that this pregnancy has been filled with trials and complications, or that we wondered for a while whether this baby would make it full term-if we would loose it before we had a chance to meet it. Charlotte has been defying odds from the moment of her conception. Just days after we discovered that we were pregnant the doctors were concerned that we could be loosing her. After weeks passed and multiple sonograms and a lengthy time spent off my feet, we had hope that maybe just maybe she would make it. She was a fighter; 5 weeks turned into 14 weeks and before we knew it we were in the second trimester, off of bed rest with most of our fears resolved for the moment.

       Then came 16 weeks and suddenly things weren't looking good for her or myself. I was restricted from most of my activities again, and prayer was reinforced full fledged. It felt like every minute we turned around there was something else threatening the life growing inside of me. When one problem was resolved another one approached us from behind another pivotal moment.

       More than anything in the world, we just wanted to see this baby safe and healthy but after being told at 28 weeks pregnant that we could give birth to a very premature baby, our hearts dropped and we prepared for the worst. Family, friends and strangers lifted us up in prayer, and Charlotte's name was being whispered to the heavens through the hearts and well wishes of people we hoped she would grow to meet and know.

      It became a day-by-day waiting game. We were in the process of switching doctors and were becoming very frustrated with the doctors we were seeing. It felt like these new doctors weren't taking us seriously, or giving our babies life much thought. After multiple trips, and rescheduled appointments  we finally met with a doctor for a consult and immediately felt a difference. For the first time a doctor was taking my health problems seriously and was working to prepare us for the worst. We requested a transfer to their office and we were taken under the wing of this doctor. We finally had some hope for our daughter regardless of what happened in the next few weeks.

      We were in and out of the hospital almost weekly with premature labor, but with medication and prayers Charlotte continued to grow strong and healthy inside of me. At 35 weeks I started having consistent contractions 10 minutes apart and began slowly dilating. I was officially in pre-labor and we knew that we would finally be able to hold our baby soon. The week felt like it went on forever. Every moment we wondered how we would know it was truly time and then there was the fear of making it to the hospital in time to deliver via c-section like we had planned. It was to the likeness of standing on pins and needles.

       Finally monday came, and that night we knew something had changed, so we promptly made our way to the hospital for what we hoped was the last time being pregnant. They kept me overnight with contractions every 5 minutes apart as I started to dilate a little more. But after not seeing much progress in the labor they sent us home 14 hours later. The next three days were the longest days I think I have ever endured. The labor wasn't progressing enough to pursue our c-section, but it was present enough to keep me from sleep, leaving me exhausted, anxious and impatiently praying.

      With a major snowstorm headed our way and the trip to the hospital already being long and precarious from our little home in the woods, both Alex and I were worried about how quickly we would be able to make it to the hospital should the labor begin to progress. Our biggest fear was that we wouldn't make it to the hospital on-time. After all of the trips to the hospital hopelessness began to set in. We had reached a point where we were sure that I would simply continue at this stage in labor for the next three to four weeks until we reached full term. We began to convince ourselves that the time was not coming.

      Wednesday we made our way to the doctors for a follow-up appointment. Our doctor was on vacation for the week so we were seeing another doctor from the office. We waited for a good 30 min in the waiting room during which my contractions suddenly became increasingly more frequent and sever. When they finally brought us back to a room we sat for another lengthy time waiting to hear where we were in our laboring. When the doctor finally came in, it was only a matter of minutes before it was evident to her that my water had finally broken and we needed to do the c-section that day!

      I have never been so excited to hear that someone was finally going to cut me open (while I was fully conscious) and pulling a living human being from the depths of my womb. All fear of the operation, and the anxiety for Charlotte faded away and the reality that we were going to actually get to hold our daughter overwhelmed us. Just when we had convinced ourselves that this moment would never come, we were sitting hand in hand daring to believe that everything was going to be just fine.

     After a few minutes the doctor came back in the room to inform us that my doctor had stopped in the office and heard about our situation and wanted to do the c-section himself- on his vacation. Alex and I were overwhelmed. We couldn't believe what we were hearing. We were rushed over to the hospital and suddenly we hardly had a moment to breathe or truly think about what was going to happen.

   The operation was scheduled about an hour and a half to two hours later, but the process of getting ready stole the time and ran with it. Before I knew it I was sitting on the edge of a cold blue table with 5 to 8 nurses around me, a needle in my back and the world rapidly spinning around me. Alex was waiting outside the door dressed in blue from his head to his toes (very sexy by-the-way) but all I wanted was his hand in mine whispering sweet-nothings in my ear, letting me know I was going to be alright.

       Surgeries are never easy- always filled with anxiety, and tummies fluttering with enough butterflies to fill a sanctuary. The fact that I was about to be sliced and diced didn't manifest until the spinal had set and I slowly began loosing feeling below my head- where upon my world frantically began spinning until Alex walked in. His eyes met mine and all butterflies fluttered away as though a breeze had come and carried them away. Fifteen minutes later a little cry rose above the chatter of the doctors and nursing staff.
     
       I don't know if there are words to describe the moment I heard her cry for the first time. Joy, relief and love are possibly the only words needed. Tears spilled down my face as Alex took his daughter into his arms for the first time. Immobilized, I laid on the table while I listened to my daughter; never has the tears of a startled child sounded more like music then the moment I realized that the baby we have been praying for and dreaming of was alive and well.

      Alex and her nurse brought her over to me, and I stared into the face of the most beautiful, peaceful baby I had ever seen. With a head of thick dark black hair, and petite perfect features I was looking into the face of my daughter. I was taken aback by her beauty and her serene demeanor. At four weeks premature, she was healthy and more perfect than I had ever imagined possible. As she was taken away to the nursery while I was being put back together all I could do was pray and praise God for the miracle that had taken place. I am fairly certain that my heart was not the only one singing, but that the voices of the angel harmoniously fell on the ears of the Lord that afternoon.

     Charlotte Rae Ann was born on Wednesday the 11th, of December, the year 2013, at exactly 2:00 pm, or 1400 hours. She weighed 5 lbs. and 7 oz. and measured 19inches long.


       There is truly no way to fully share the experience of having your child in your arms for the first
time and I cannot thank my family, our friends, and everyone who has come along side us during this journey. This has not been an easy road to travel; there were many days we wondered if we would make it to the moment we held her in our arms and kissed her face. The prayers and encouragement we were surrounded with had an incredible impact on us and I choose to believe on Charlottes little life.

      We cannot wait for her to meet her family and our friends and church family. We hope that she continues to grow and thrive on all of the prayers and positive relationships around her. Thank you all so much for everything!!!

Much love,
Leah