While We Wait

        Yes, we are still living with my parents, and it is true that we still aren't sure what we are going to do. For the first time in a long time we are being given the opportunity to take a breath and truly seek out where God wants to lead our family, how we can best pursue the passions and dreams He has given us, while still being able to provide the needs for our family. Alex primarily, is getting a chance to do things over again in many ways. He has been able to take a step back, reevaluate, pray and let God speak into his heart and to trust that God can give us the answers and direction we need. I think we needed this time, as a couple, a family and individually to ask ourselves what we really want for our lives and our family, and not necessarily what may make the most sense to others. We want to be disciples who are willing to sacrifice and lead simple, even inconvenient lives, in order to live out the words of God as closely as we can. That being said-we don't want to rush or feel backed into making a decision biased on convenience and desperation. So we are waiting and praying.

        While we wait, though it is needed, there is also truth to the fact that we have both had to work through (and continue to struggle with) feeling like we are in limbo. As much as we appreciate my parents opening their home to us, it is simply not my home anymore. Alex and I are married with a baby of our own, it is hard not to feel like we are intruding, or that we need our own space and kitchen again. It is hard not having my own home to set up and run the way I like. It is hard not having our books and our own couch and bed. It is hard living in a little clutter and cramped quarters. Even more so, it's hard not having a definitive plan-still not knowing exactly what the next few month will hold for my family (not that anyone ever really knows what is going to happen at any time), or where God will lead us.  But even though it is hard and uncomfortable at times, God is also showing us many wonderful things while we wait.

      One of the biggest things that have changed in our lives in our hunger and relationship with the body of Christ, particularly in our church. I think for one of the first times in my life, I am literally counting down the days until Sunday and Wednesday every week. I am starving for fellowship, to be challenged, tested, encouraged, and enlightened. When Charlotte prevents us from being able to go (which happens often-I sincerely hope this teething stage passes soon) I am heartbroken and disappointed. When we leave church every week, we leave reluctantly, but also having come closer to Christ through the fellowship and edification of the body and through worshiping God with others equally passionately seeking and discovering Him. I said to Alex last week on our way home. "This church... it feels like home. It feels like family." Home. It felt like honey warmly covering my soul; a sweet, cozy, safe place. Even though our lives are in limbo, and we don't know where we will go or what we will do, for now spiritually and emotionally home. We can rest and we can know we are where we need to be right now.
 
     Wherever God leads our family, if we can focus in all things on Him and be actively involved in His body, the church, and in all things seeking His word, we will always have a home. Of this, I am certain... Sometimes I just need a reminder when I want to complain about not having a place to hang my babies bibs, or wanting to do laundry in my time, or to have the luxury to leave things around the house without complaint. (Love you mom! ;)) The reality is that it will always comes down to whether God is enough for me; if I have nothing and if things never go my way, will God still be enough. Long answer short, He continues to show me day after day that He can be if I let Him rule my heart.

           On another note Charlotte is seven months old today! My goodness she grows too fast! Here are some picture just for fun. I mean come on who could get enough of this face?

Love,
Leah

More to come on other things we are learning! Next post about our adventure on minimizing and simplifying!



      ***I just want to say, I've been part of many wonderful churches with incredible leaders and members of the body of Christ-I say this to make the point that what God is doing in our hearts and lives right now is not indicating in anyway that the churches I've been a part of in the past haven't been special or important to me. God is simply moving in our lives right now through this church and body and we are so blessed and inspired by it.