Mamma, Wife, and Disciple of Christ

I was on my second cup of coffee and my head was swimming with my to-do-list.  It was nine at night, and the baby had just settled and was sleeping peacefully at my feet in her rocking bassinet. I was cramming in a last minute study session before bed; rather, attempting to. I found myself wondering if I was crazy for thinking that I could go back to school right after having a baby, in addition to filling my roles as a wife, mamma of two under two, homemaker, friend and disciple of Christ. Would my other responsibilities suffer as I took on the new status of a part-time college student?

I have experience exhaustion on a level I didn't imagine possible over these past three weeks, but despite the chaos and business that my life has suddenly consumed, I have felt more grounded and fulfilled than I have in a very long time. I wondered if I could do this; all of the roles God has put on my heart to engage and fulfill. Would I be effective in my roles, or end up just getting by or making it through? I didn't want to feel like I was just surviving, and I didn't want my husband, kids, friends or God just to get the leftovers of my time and attention. I am exhausted at the end and sometimes the beginning of each day, but I am also filled with excitement for each plan I have for the week. I went from going through each day with my daughter and husband feeling bored and empty. I wasn't having an impact on my family and friends or for Christ. I was just going through the motions every day.

Looking back, I think my daughter and husband got less of me when I had nothing going on, then they do today even with everything we have going on. Our days are filled with meaningful and intentional plans and to-do. It is contagious; the sensation of doing something for which I am so passionate; my devotion to my husband and kids is unhindered. I am restless with a desire to serve God where I can, reaching out and putting myself out there to minister and be ministered to by the body of Christ. I am driven to educate and equip myself to care for the orphans, foster children, and individuals that desperately need help and love. I am anxious to share my testimony with my followers and reach women and marriages with hope and truth. I am currently being given opportunities to do all of this and instead of being overwhelmed and discouraged, I am more focused and excited about my life than I ever have been. 

As mamma's, particularly stay-at-home mom's, I think there is a tendency to feel stuck and lonely, or to feel like your not doing much with your life. Not to say that raising children is not doing much because believe me this is probably one of the most demanding and rewarding jobs we will ever do. But, some days being home with the kids and just kids is lonely, frustrating, and challenging. I'm finding that it is important to remember that God gives us passions for a reason and more than that when He gives us opportunities He will also supply us with the means to do it. 

While being a mamma is one of my favorite things, I also have other things I enjoy doing. One of those things being serving others when I have the opportunity. I want my girls to grow up watching and learning from me, and I want them to see the heart of Christ living through me and the way I spend my days and time. I may be giving all my time and energy to things God has given me, but instead of feeling run down and worn out, I am running on an invisible endless flow of energy. 

My advice today is to find a way to get out and get active and involved with others and in things you feel strongly about. When you have opportunity fill your time with the things that excite you and draw you closer to Christ and those you love. When we are doing something we love it gives us purpose and a drive that propels us through time leaving a fingerprint on the lives around us.