A Rough Time

I can't really say that we've been going through a rough time lately. Granted, these days recently haven't been easy, or comfortable, but life as a disciple of Christ isn't (dare I say, shouldn't be?) easy, comfortable or relaxing. Real life in pursuit of Christ is not like living the 'American dream'. It's not about the perfect family, job, status, friends, or success. Joy does not come from a comfortable situation, the ideal living, great health, and making it all work. Life as a Christian is hard; we are promised to face persecution, trials, and a fallen world everyday. So I can't really say that we've been going through a rough time lately, because my life as a disciple has been nothing but rough- a crazy, sometimes unbelievable journey as I discover and serve Christ the best that I can.

I could tell you a sob story, tug on your heart strings as you sympathize over the things I've faced and my family has endured these past few months, but I'm not going to do that. Instead I want to share what God is continuing to speak into my heart along the way. This season, while a new string of 'trials' is not new in the sense of the tribulations - only the circumstances surrounding it. What we are going through specifically doesn't matter significantly in the big picture of 'going out and making disciples' or of 'following after Christ' or 'dying to ourselves', except that we are constantly learning through trail in error what it means to put Jesus first in everything.

What I am learning is that, no matter how hard things get, what I or my family my have to face physically, emotionally or spiritually, when we are able to keep our eyes and focus on serving and glorifying Christ and the Father first, then we experience Him the way David so rawly and yet eloquently emphasized in his psalms and prayers.  The great commission is about making His name known, proclaiming the good news to the world, and serving Him with humility and selfless abandonment. What I am continuing to realize is that, serving and loving Jesus with all my heart and my life is not about looking forward to the comfortable days, having great health, being in a good financial position, or anything else that makes life fun, or inviting. While none of that is bad, life does not guarantee any of it, nor should my heart be contented by it.

If Jesus can't satisfy my deep thirst for a fulfilling and meaningful life than none of that good fluffy world stuff can either. It never has and it never will be for me. That is why I have found contentment in the midst of these trials and great tribulations. That's why Paul could teach and serve so passionately and restlessly despite the multiple appalling persecutions he faced as a disciple and that's why people are still going out into the world, risking their lives, giving up their comfortable homes and lifestyles to share the good news with the desperately lost and hungry in the world.

In America especially, though not exclusively, it can be so easy to get sucked into this modern, self-promoting, comfort driven, materialistic mindset. Living in this world is like waking every morning and walking through a maze, so often getting lost in the things of this world; in the relationships, dreams and desires of our hearts- we loose sight of the One who is rooting for us. We get tangled up in the corn husks, stuck in the mud, and find ourselves hungry lonely and lost, wondering where we turned wrong when all we had to do was look up and keep our eyes on Him and His light guiding the way.

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As Mr. J. and I have struggled through this past month, people from all sides of our lives have come together to encourage and lift us up, but the truth is, that while this hasn't been easy, we are not surprised or discouraged. We have not been prevented from serving God, drawing near to Him or experiencing Him in our day to day life. In fact, the more difficult things become, the closer we are draw to Christ, each other, and the body of Christ. God does not allow these things in our lives to distract us from Him or beat us to the ground, He is simply allowing a work to be done in our hearts and lives that will ultimately draw us to Him and bring Glory and honor to Himself. Our trials and struggles today are a beautiful opportunity to know Christ and grow in Christ. We wouldn't trade that for the world.

While we aren't just going through a rough time, this life is rough. It's hard. We constantly have to fight against our heart's wants and desires, and die to ourselves, particularly when things get harder. This life is a constant battle ground. Whether we want to admit it or not, we are in the midst of a battle and there is an enemy who is seeking to bring us down and destroy us. We don't want the easy life, we want to stand up and fight, no matter what it costs. After all, these days will fade, these trials are only momentary; someday we will stand in the throne room of God and not one of these painful seasons will be on our minds as we stand in awe, worshiping the God of the Universe.


I just want to encourage you today. Whatever you are going through right now, however painful, impossible or hopeless things may seem, if you can truly keep your eyes on Christ and seek Him in the moment, He will be your rest and hope. There is a peace and joy in serving the Lord and putting Him at the forefront of everything you do and think. I have been in some dark valleys throughout my walk, but never once has my God forsaken and abandoned me.


With an Earnest Love,
Leah