What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into?

                     You would think that after seven months of consistently not expecting what God would do in our lives that we would learn to not expect anything in particular. In fact giving room and a large allowance for the unexpected. But God knows that we don't learn things very easily, so it goes to prove once again that indeed God allows, leads and intervenes in our lives in ways which we would never prepare for. Our most recent venture stands on terms no less unanticipated. The only difference is that this endeavor so far persists ever more onerous; seemingly impossible at moments.

                    Upon moving in with this new family as the live in nanny with my funny lovable husband the question has repeated itself more times than either of us care to admit: "What on earth have we gotten ourselves into?"

                   I have been faced with a multitude of shocking situations, disheartening realities, and frustrating circumstances over and over again. This home is beyond disorganized and in desperate need of a relationship with Christ. The circumstances and needs of this home are so far above and beyond anything I expected or feel that I have to give. There is no doubt in either of our minds that this family is in desperate need of an intervention and an example of a God honoring Christ centered relationship. With a single small bed room and bathroom of our own, we have otherwise been placed in a whirlwind  of emotions and expectations. We were not expecting to become like parents and missionaries to this family. Apparently God had a different idea in mind- I should have known.

              Over the first two weeks we tried so hard to convince ourselves that this couldn't possibly be where God wanted us, but circumstances proved to differ. God intentionally made certain that we wouldn't be able to find a way out of this. He made it near impossible to question where He wanted us. So having accepted that we are supposed to be here, we are now trying our hardest to find contentment in our living situation.

             The job itself has been one of the most exhausting jobs I have ever worked. The hours over the first week ended up being anywhere from 6:30 in the morning until 8:30 that night every day. With three dogs, four cats, other small animals, and a large house to clean, in addition to the two kids I watched, the days ended up being very long and stressful.  After two weeks of this crazy schedule and work load, I built up the courage to meet with and discuss the situation with my boss. Until that morning, the reality of my insecurity in talking over disagreements and challenging another person became painfully evident to me. I have never been so terrified to talk to someone before. I was so afraid of what she would say or do when I brought up some of the uncomfortable situations.  However, being convinced that God would desire an honest and mature attempt at communication instead of allowing bitterness and discontent to build up in my heart, I submitted to Him.  The conversation ended up going over very well, and since last weekend things have been going much smoother in relation to the work hours and the work load.

              Though the days aren't quiet so long, I am still amazed at the need of God's presence in this house hold. This will not be an easy couple of years. We need prayer, patience and a lot of wisdom. God willing we will touch these beautiful kids and this Mother and maybe learn a thing or two from them. We are going to be full time missionaries here and we pray that God continues to lead us.  I think it is painfully obvious that we have no idea what we are doing. I am so thankful to my friends and family who have been encouraging both Alex and I through the last few weeks, and I have no doubt that we will continue to rely on the wisdom and insight others will bring into our simple understanding. Thank God we don't have to rely on our own experiences to work through this.

Here are a few picture of our new "very messy" room:

             Love to all,
Leah