I Will Follow - Words from the Husband

It’s funny how a simple statement can be the difference between death and life. I will follow. Three simple words. What do they mean to you? What do they mean to me? 

Every day is a choice. As a human being, we are constantly forced to make decisions. Decisions to get out of bed on time, what to eat, how to dress, what to say, blah blah blah. When it all boils down though, what’s really important? I think the decision to get up and live is up on the top of the list. But what else is up there? Is there anything else?

For me, my faith is, or should be, on the top of the list. I’m constantly struggling though. It’s so hard sometimes to remember that there is a God looking out for me. It’s funny when I think about it, and I say funny as in ironic. I’m so ready to be like “God is great” when everything is going well, but as soon as life gets difficult, I’m ready to be angry at Him. My whole problem I think is that I feel entitled, like how dare He put things in my life that actually challenge my faith in Him.

The simple truth is that I’m still a baby in Christ. My past life is getting in the way with my present life. It’s like I’m trying to dance with two left feet, while wrestling a bear, solving a calculus equation, repairing a rocket in outer space, and singing the alphabet backwards at the same time. I just can’t do it. That’s the plain and simple truth. When I bring God into everything I do, it’s like he acts like a manager of sorts. He lets in the tasks that He knows I can handle, but only if I trust and rely on Him to do so.

So back to the beginning. The simple statement of I will follow means so much more then it seems. It means that no matter what happens, I will follow Him and His plan that He has for me. I could be facing death, persecution, loss, and whatever else He may decide to try me with, but I know for certain that I will still follow Him. 

I don’t really know much of anything else that I feel like talking about. I know I wrote like what, five paragraphs? So maybe next time Leah decides to have me write about something, I can write more. I don’t know. Maybe it would help if I had questions to answer? Ask away!

The Jaffrey Family Simplifying and Minimizing Project- Update

Since starting our journey through simplifying and minimizing back in June we have struggled, failed, and sometimes found our hearts feeling more frustrated and helpless than before. Let me tell you-it hasn't been easy. (In case you hadn't yet gotten the drift from previous posts.)  

It's been about five months since setting out on this adventure together, now we are looking back at where we were at the start compared to where God has us now and we see nothing less than a dramatic transformation of our sentiments, passions and affections. Our shelves hold less now, but our hearts are heavily laden with the riches we have found along the way.  

We have fought our desires at every turn, sometimes loosing a battle, but ultimately we are winning this war and the spoils thus far are oh-so-beautiful. 

Simple Joy

We have found simple joy.

In giving up little by little, more by more, we are discovering a freedom and contentment neither of us have ever known. The temptations and mindsets we fought and struggles so hard against are becoming less and less. Our goal in beginning this journey was to purge all of the "stuff" in our lives and hearts that were pulling our focus away from living for Christ. What we didn't expect to find along the way was the freedom and contentment we have with what little we have and need. 

It almost felt like overnight we realized that we don't care about having stuff. The approach of Christmas may have something to do with the sudden realization of our total lack of thought and desire for the pursuit of 'things'. We are no longer slaves to the materialism of this world. Through Christ we have found a greater joy; a meaningful, fulfilling pursuit. 

There are empty shelves now, and we continue to empty drawers and simplify our daily life, but it is no longer done with reluctance or drudgery. When we are able to put away one more thing or tackle one more area in our lives together, we are saying 'no' to empty pursuits and 'yes' to the things that really matter. 

We have come so much further than we realized, and yet we still have so far to go. Through the frustrations, struggles and battles, a deep simple joy waits that we have already tasted-so we will continue to seek God relentlessly in all we do. 

*********************************

OH, THE BEAUTY OF SIMPLE JOY - THE RICHES OF LESS

With An Earnest Love,

                        Leah

Update:

I forgot to share this link to an awesome website that have been a great encouragement through this process: http://www.becomingminimalist.com/  Also be sure to follow becoming a minimalist facebook page for great tips and encouragement through the week. It has been such a blessing to me. 

Beauty in Pain

Tears filled my eyes; I could feel the hot, heart wrenching, sobs pulse through my body with every heart beat. My white, aching, cold hands clutched my closed worn bible while shaking and trembling in spasms. My breathing was a wheezy, shallow, hollow sound, as if the pain and panic griped my throat, threatening to steal my voice. My chest heaved within me and tightened with every cry that escaped my dry cracked lips. Darkness swallowed me, emptiness captured my hope, and sent me spiraling into the depths of despair. 

I was broken.

If a soul could bleed I would have filled a river, my spirit felt like it was utterly dying within me without hope of healing. 

My sobs prevented me from speaking and my tongue refused to move, so in my head I cried to the Lord. I screamed as loud as I could-the very depths of my soul rang with the echoes of my cries. 

"Lord, Lord? Where are You? Do You hear my cry? Can You hear me in this night? I weep and I seek You. Lord, do not let me fall to the wayside. Draw me to You. Hold my broken heart. Tenderly touch me, for I need Your mercy to meet me tonight. I cannot walk this road alone. I feel so alone. I feel so weak. I am utterly destroyed. Lord, Lord, are You here? Please hear me now. Be my rescue." 

   ***********************

There are so many moments in my walk with the Lord when I have come to a place of brokenness; where things truly feel hopeless and impossible. Darkness meets me with open arms welcoming me into caverns of spiritual despair. It is in moments like this when I see and discover God in the most  living, intimate and real way. It is when my 'religion' becomes a living relationship.  

Crying and desperate, in the dark of the night when all is silent, the world stands still, and the pain of my broken heart shatters cages that hold the murky shadows releasing the monsters who rise among me to haunt my desolate soul-in that moment; as defeated as I am, I realize how desperately I need God. I realize there is no more strength in me; only God can rescue my contrite spirit (psalm 34:19). 

Quietly, softly, my aching turns to peace, my weeping to joy, and the presence of God illuminates with words of truth, every darkened, hopeless nook and cranny of my heart. My fears, my desolation is snatched away; a strength and hope greater than my adrenaline could supply calms the storm in my heart and lifts me up on wings of love, carrying me over the crashing waves, embracing me in billows of tender mercies, restoring my joy, filling me with songs and praises. My broken pieces are gathered in His hands as he molds with new clay and begins forming me anew.      

He whispers in my ear, "Be still my child, I am here. Come rest in My arms and let Me refresh your soul. I will give you strength in your weakness. Be still."  

Through my brokenness, through my pain, the Lord draws me to Himself. Every time I come to a place when I can't go on, when I am broken and in need of real living strength apart from myself, God meets me where I am and restores my soul. He turns my weeping to laughter, and my misery to joy. There is so much beauty in my pain - from the depths of my brokenness God reveals Himself to me in small pieces.   

 The psalms of David are such a beautiful depiction of how God meets us where are. Especially in the hour of broken and painful reflections.  

"I sought the Lord, and He heard me, 

And delivered me from all my fears."

...

"The angel of the Lord encamps around all those who fear Him, 

And delivers them."

...

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, 

And delivers them out of all their troubles. 

The Lord, is near to those who have a broken heart 

And saves such as have a contrite spirit. 

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,

But the Lord delivers him out of them all.

...

The Lord redeems the soul of His servants, 

And none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned. "

Psalm 34: 4, 7, 17, 18, 19, 22

*****

"I waited patiently for the Lord,

And He inclinded to me, 

And heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay, 

And set my feet upon a rock,

And established my steps.

He has put a new song in my mouth-

Praises to our God;

Many will see it and fear,

And will trust in the Lord."

Psalm 40:1-3

*****

(My favorite)

"As the deer pants for the water brooks,

So pants my soul for You, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God

When shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my food day and night,

While they continually say to me,

“Where is your God?”

When I remember these things,

I pour out my soul within me.

For I used to go with the multitude;

I went with them to the house of God,

With the voice of joy and praise,

With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast. 

Why are you cast down, O my soul?

And why are you disquieted within me?

Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him

For the help of His countenance.

O my God, my soul is cast down within me;

Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan,

And from the heights of Hermon,

From the Hill Mizar.

 

Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;

All Your waves and billows have gone over me.

 

The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,

And in the night His song shall be with me—

A prayer to the God of my life.

I will say to God my Rock,

“Why have You forgotten me?

Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”

As with a breaking of my bones.

My enemies reproach me,

While they say to me all day long,

“Where is your God?”

Why are you cast down, O my soul?

And why are you disquieted within me?

Hope in God;

For I shall yet praise Him,

The help of my countenance and my God. "

Psalm 42

David gives me such a beautiful picture of how God works in our hearts in the midst of our brokenness.  Through God our brokenness becomes beauty. Our 'religion' becomes a living relationship. 

With Love,

Leah

20 Toy ideas for Families Striving for Simplicity and Less

As we continue this process of simplifying and minimizing, with christmas and our Pumpalumpkin's first birthday approaching we've begun thinking more about how this life style we are pursuing will effect our children in play and hopefully the way they think about things.

There is such a huge part of us that want to simply pour out blessings on our daughter. The world would try to tell us that to truly bless her, toys would rain down from heaven, mounding, providing hours of entertainment and fun. But we know and are learning more everyday the importance and joy of owning less, wanting for less, and finding beauty in simple things. We want our daughter and future children to grow up wanting the important things in life, working hard for what they have, seeking happiness and joy in all the beautiful things God has given them.

We don't want to cultivate attitudes of entitlement; giving into this idea that bigger and better things are waiting around the corner, all of these flashy toys come and go as the flowers of the fields. We don't want them growing up believe that having more will make them happy. I watch kids today looking through magazines, watching TV commercials and seeing all of the adds for the newest toys, and see a growing attitude of discontentment and a constant need for more. Nothing seems to satisfy. Ultimately kids grow up with toys upon toys, feeling empty and bored.

Don't get me wrong, we are not saying that toys are bad. On the contrary we believe that toys can play a vital role in a child's life developing, teaching and inspiring great creativity. I only have a problem with quantity and the worlds idolization of 'things' that instill seeds of materialism in our youth.

 So that being said, what are we going to do about it; how are we going to attempt to teach our children to have a healthy appetite for play, finding joy in less, and freedom in the simplicity of what they own? How can we possibly go about teaching contentment in a world that screams for bigger, better, newer, and more?

As we have explored our options and the possibilities for our kids here is a simple list of toys we have come up with that we hope will cultivate the imagination, creativity, and life skills they need.         (This list is geared to kids ages 18 months- 8 years old)

1. Building blocks

2. A handful of wooden or plastic animals/ figurines 

3. One or two baby dolls with two outfits, bottle, and 2 diapers

4.  Two or three stuffed animals

5. Wooden Puzzle boards 

6. Baby carriage or sling

7. Two sorting and stacking games

8. A handful of cars 

9. A train and small track set

10. Playing silks

 11. A few dress up items

12. A few imaginative play things

13. A small genderless doll house with a couple dolls and a few furniture items

14. Bike

15. Craft and Art stuff

16. Drum and one other instrument (triangle, shaker, guitar, recorder, whistle, ect.)

17. Wooden play kitchen with a few play foods, pots and dinnerware 

18. Books

19. One toy of choice (something they really want- have them work for it)

20. Outings to Museums, Zoos, Aquariums, field trips, ect.

Our goal personally, is to stay away from all the flashy, light up, decked out toys and try to give our kids toys that will last and not grow into heaps and piles. Honestly at this point our 11 month old daughter prefers her simple toys to her light up, buttons-a-plenty things. She finds more joy and delight pulling clothes out of a drawer and banging on pots and pans than in any of the other play things we have for her. As she grows and we learn I am sure we will revise this list little by little, but for where we are now we are excited about these ideas as a starting place and a guide.  

Do you have any ideas for toys that you would want to encourage your kids to play with?

A Blessing- Nothing More To Say

Dear Readers,

 In truth I had a whole elaborate post planned and prepared. While changing our little Pumpalumpkin's diaper, I indulged in a passionate narration of my pre meditated thoughts throughout these past few days. It was quiet a captivating speech I assume by the distant little grey eyes listening so intently adding the occasional "mmm"' and "daddaddada" to the symphony of my dramatically exaggerated vowels accompanied by the theatric expressions which come so easily to a Mother trying to entertain to keep the tears away for a moment more. In hindsight, perhaps it was only the melodramatic performance that kept her engaged for the moment and not what I had to share. In either case we shall never know, for as I nestled in the great cushions of the parlor grey love seat, cradling the smallest, the most beautiful love I've ever had to hold- the quiet stillness of the evening sunk into my heart, sinking into every nook and cranny; warming my very soul. Peace over came me in waves quenching every thought I had retained. 

     In a moment all I had to say rushed out of my head as quickly as it h
ad come leaving me motionless and staring helplessly in-love at the little face snuggled up against my breast dreaming and smiling sweetly to herself. All of my plans and speeches disappeared leaving me with just four words:

So this is Love. 

    As I carried her to her crib and gently laid her down, as I held her hand for a moment more and kissed her little forehead, I knew there was nothing in the world that could change this love. When I closed the door quietly, and listened for a moment, I heard the soft waves crashing in the distance as her noise maker recreated the ocean sounds, and the silence that reassured me she was peacefully resting. 

   So here I sit. Quietly. Waiting ever so patiently for my thoughts to clear. But I can't get her little eyes out my head. I can't stoping thinking about her little smile, with her singular top tooth glinting pearly white as her dimpled cheeks beg for kisses and mess of curls on top of her head bounce from side to side. She is our own special miracle; an amazing blessing from God.  

Some days can be really hard- being a mom.

Sometimes I have a hard time remembering how precious every moment I have with my daughter is.

Some mornings I'm so tired I don't know how I am going to be able to get out of bed.

Some nights when she just can't stay asleep, I want to curl up and simply cry.

Being a mom is one of the hardest things I've ever done. But it is moments like right now; when I can bask in the bliss of joy being the mom of the most beautiful blessing I've ever received- that makes every difficult moment worthwhile above and far beyond anything I could give or endure for her sake.

The truth is: tonight I am tired, I might have the worlds worst headache, and have nothing truly notable to say-but I am also overwhelmed with love, thanksgiving and irrepressible joy for the blessing sleeping on the opposite side of wall growing big and strong.

Don't forget that our children grow and will eventually leave our homes. Hold them close tonight, kiss them once again, and tell them how much you care for them while you can.

Love Always,
Leah

Where Do We Go From Here

   

 I've had a dream - a vision of where I wanted see my life go and how I wanted to live it out. I had plans. I thought I had it all figured out. Until...God showed me that His plan for my life was going to be different than the concept I had created and drafted in my head...and heart.

When Alex and I were planning our life together, preparing to be married and looking for direction, we would spend hours fantasizing about the kids we would have, the home we would live in, the job, the church, our ministries, and everything and anything else you could think of. We had it all planned out and we were prepared for a life time pursuit of our dreams.

Then things started spinning out of control...before the wedding even had a chance.

God made it crystal clear from the start- Our life together was not going to be about us.

Very early on (and continually since then) I've been reminded that my life pursuit could not be about what I wanted or what dreams I had bent my heart on. If I was going to walk through this life as a disciple of Christ, He needed to have every part of my life...including my dreams and where I wanted to go. The honest truth was that my vision for my life was not centered on God- I was wrapped up in the philosophy that my life pursuit should be a passionate battle for the things I wanted.

*******

So the question we've had to ask ourselves now is... where do we go from here? 

We are married, have a baby and are working hard together to provide for our needs (and sometime wants). But we still have our whole lives in front of us...and no idea where God is leading us or where we will end up. Over the last few years of trying to pursue venture after venture, we still feel no closer to where we wanted to be.

Where, Lord do You want us to go? What do You want us to do?

It is so hard to not get caught up in the things we see for our life. Especially when those things aren't bad things. But when things don't work out - despite how hard we try, it becomes discouraging and discontentment and hopelessness sneaks in like a ninja seeking to destroy.

No matter where we go or what we do, as long as we are looking to serve God and honor Him with our actions and decisions we can't fail. I mean we will fail many time, over and over and over again, but God will lead and help us find the way- especially if our hearts are in the right place.  It doesn't matter what the world thinks of the way we live our life if we are giving it all to God. That is all He asks from us.

When we were growing up and starting out on our own we were so obsessed with finding the perfect school, perfect job and life plan. That is what the whole world was telling us we needed to do. People judged us based on what we chose to pursue. What we didn't fully realize then was that our careers and life styles didn't have to define us. Sure, people are always going to have an opinion about what we should do and where we should go, but before God- if we are giving it all to Him and let Him lead our foot steps-it doesn't matter. 

When we leave it in God's hands- careers and pursuits don't define us- We are set apart as His servants- Devoted to His works -Not to the work men

Suddenly it isn't up to us to pull it all together and make all the ends meet. We go where He leads us, work hard in the jobs He has given us, and live with the help of the Holy Spirit as purely and devotedly as we can. It's isn't about us- It's all about Him.

So what can we pursue with this mindset? 


Alex and I have thought and prayed long and hard about this. Since everything we try to pursue seems to fall through, how do we and what are we supposed to go after? Obviously we will always try to pursue God in all things (we are human after all), first and foremost. But there is still a part of us that know that we have to make decisions and goals for our family as we grow and mature.

There have been three main things on our hearts as a couple since we've been married that we honestly believe God has instilled in us.

1. A Heart For The Orphans
2. A Heart For Encouraging Others In Their Walk With The Lord
3.  Having Our Home As A Safe Place Where People Can Be Refreshed And Stay

No matter where we go or what we do in our life we just what to serve God in every way we possibly can. But these three things have always been deeply set in our hearts. We have always wanted to adopt/foster. We believe that the word of God teaches that as believers and disciples of Christ it is our responsibility to take care of the orphans. Since we know that we won't be able to have any children of our own any way, we whole heartedly believe that God is making room in our home and hearts for children who need a family to love and teach them. We feel confident that unless God closes the doors for either adoption or foster care, it is His heart for us to devotedly pursue and trust that He will provide the finances and whatever we need to adopt.

Likewise, when it comes to our passion to encourage and nurture people in their walk with the Lord, this is something that we are taught to desire through the word of God- in addition to being a family who brings people together and opens our home to the world. All of these three things are not against God, so as we walk, we want to diligently seek all these. If God closes the doors then that is fine, because ultimately we are here to Glorify Him in whatever we do...not just through what we want to do. If cleaning toilets and living as simply as we are able and seeking God first in everything is all we accomplish in our lives, I believe we believe that God can use that. We are not failures.


We don't have life all figured out. We don't have even a little clue as to where we are going to go or the things we are going to do through Christ. But we don't have to know. We just have to pray, seek, respond and live contently; with passion, devotion and a joyful attitude - wherever we are.

Today it is in my parents home, working hard, barely making ends meet, discovering Christ more intimately everyday. This is where we are now, and we can serve God today through the simple things, praying that God will give us opportunities to serve Him. We don't have to wait for tomorrow... for tomorrow, who knows where God will take us. 

With an Earnest Love,
Leah